Clara went to the OT house to see RK about certain things (DD contract, GC expenses, AM fees). As she was walking out the door to the car, RK mentioned that because she has been paying the mortgage payments for the past year [which is her responsibility], we should start paying them starting next month.
Clara asked her why she brought this up as she's walking out the door [and leaving the country] and told RK to call our lawyer.
Friday, February 27, 2009
Friday, October 10, 2008
RK is still dumb
RK frantically called my sister today because one of the bank accounts had a negative balance. Clara had deposited a check earlier that hadn't cleared yet, so it was fine. Clara had told her this yesterday when she saw her in person, but RK told Clara this morning, "Oh. I didn't understand." After every single conversation, Clara and I ask her, "Do you understand?" and she shakes her head vigorously that she does.
Also, RK received a mortgage statement in the mail for the building. RK asked Clara whether she had written a check. This is absurd because we don't even have signing power for that account.
From these actions, we can deduce that:
1. RK does not only NOT understand most of the things that we tell her (which is fine) but (a) DOES NOT ASK FOR CLARIFICATION when we ask her if she DOES understand (which we ask her each time because clearly, we assume she might not understand, which is a definite possibility as evidenced by today's miscommunication) and (b) has a problem communicating with US which is pretty much out of our power because we always ask her if she understands, and if she says she does when she does not, that becomes her problem, not ours.
2. She does not understand what a mortgage statement looks like and thinks that it might be the equivalent of a check. Where has she been for not only the two years since my dad got sick but also for the past NINE years since she had married my father? She knows that little about a spouse's business? That a mortgage needs to be paid monthly?
3. She does not understand that Clara and I do not have signing power for that bank account (which she KNOWS... or at least should retain in her brain).
In conclusion, here is more evidence that it is difficult to communicate with her because (1) she does not pay attention; (2) she does not retain IMPORTANT INFORMATION (relating to money and basic facts); and (3) she fails to ask for clarification when she needs it... which is probably the biggest problem of all.
PS - Things haven't been THAT bad with her lately. So mostly, this is just frustration that some things don't change.
Also, RK received a mortgage statement in the mail for the building. RK asked Clara whether she had written a check. This is absurd because we don't even have signing power for that account.
From these actions, we can deduce that:
1. RK does not only NOT understand most of the things that we tell her (which is fine) but (a) DOES NOT ASK FOR CLARIFICATION when we ask her if she DOES understand (which we ask her each time because clearly, we assume she might not understand, which is a definite possibility as evidenced by today's miscommunication) and (b) has a problem communicating with US which is pretty much out of our power because we always ask her if she understands, and if she says she does when she does not, that becomes her problem, not ours.
2. She does not understand what a mortgage statement looks like and thinks that it might be the equivalent of a check. Where has she been for not only the two years since my dad got sick but also for the past NINE years since she had married my father? She knows that little about a spouse's business? That a mortgage needs to be paid monthly?
3. She does not understand that Clara and I do not have signing power for that bank account (which she KNOWS... or at least should retain in her brain).
In conclusion, here is more evidence that it is difficult to communicate with her because (1) she does not pay attention; (2) she does not retain IMPORTANT INFORMATION (relating to money and basic facts); and (3) she fails to ask for clarification when she needs it... which is probably the biggest problem of all.
PS - Things haven't been THAT bad with her lately. So mostly, this is just frustration that some things don't change.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
The house is (practically) sold
Clara and I signed the contracts on Friday (after the broker added our furniture into the selling price without telling us prior), and our lawyer is looking everything over now for the attorney review.
The buyers want to move in Thursday (yes, the 17th, the day after tomorrow), and they project that the closing will finish on Friday the 18th. We are working with our lawyer to have something settled so that we could at least have sufficient time to move stuff out of the house.
Rosa told somebody that Clara and I don't tell her anything regarding the updates to the store and building. Ridiculous. Beyond ridiculous. She also told this person that she took out a second mortgage on the house. I have no idea whether or not this is true.
The buyers want to move in Thursday (yes, the 17th, the day after tomorrow), and they project that the closing will finish on Friday the 18th. We are working with our lawyer to have something settled so that we could at least have sufficient time to move stuff out of the house.
Rosa told somebody that Clara and I don't tell her anything regarding the updates to the store and building. Ridiculous. Beyond ridiculous. She also told this person that she took out a second mortgage on the house. I have no idea whether or not this is true.
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Dad's golf clubs
Random thing. Clara and I weeded the commercial building on Thursday (7/3) and yesterday (7/7). The town people complained that it was looking overgrown and unkempt (both true). We went by the house to inform RK and also to use the weed-cutting tool things that were in the garage.
JULY 3rd @ 10 am
We arrived at the house around 10 am to get the tools and to inform RK what we were doing. Clara updated her on some more stuff about people clearing out the junk in the store. RK asked whether we were done telling her stuff because she had to go somewhere. (Note: she was wearing a tank top and shorts [sleepwear?], no makeup, no bra. She didn't really look like she was going anywhere.)
Once we started the weeding at the store, we realized that it was going to be a much bigger project than we thought once we actually started. We called RK on her cell phone to ask what she was doing this weekend because we needed her help too if possible. RK said she had visitors coming for the weekend (which Clara said RK had mentioned to her before). Clara then asked what RK was doing on Monday morning. "Nothing, why?" Clara mentioned that we needed some help weeding the area around the store since it was a bigger job than we'd thought; could she please meet us there at 10 am on Monday morning? "Oh, I have a doctor's appointment at 10 am." (I guess she just forgot to mention that to us 30 seconds prior.)
NOTE: the weeds are a BUILDING issue, so really, RK should have been in charge of that, but waiting for her to do something is like waiting for a rock to hula.
JULY 7th @ 5 pm
After weeding the bulk and pouring Round-Up (weed killer) around the roots, Clara and I stopped by the house. While we were at the store, Kike (the deli owner) had gone to the post office to pick up his mail, and for some reason, our State Farm insurance bill was in his pile even though almost everything gets forwarded to the house. This bill is paid twice a year, once in January and once in July, so this is the first bill to be paid since the fire. Since it is building insurance, RK should pay it. (Clara is pretty much paying for everything for the cleaners out of her pocket, so I really hope the insurance covers all that.)
NOTE: Kike was at the store that day because he was there to collect four-month-old soda and beer from the remains of the deli because he plans to re-sell the beverages. I wish I were lying.
RK was at home with her sister from Delaware. (We said hi, and she said hi back and left the kitchen where the three of us were talking. Clara and I have no issues with her.) Maybe she was there to give moral support to RK at her doctor's appointment that morning. Anyhow, we give RK the State Farm bill, and she didn't understand why we had to pay it since the fire happened already. (I wish I were lying.) We told her that that is a very important bill and that it needs to be paid. I also reminded her to talk to the bank to get May 2008 and November 2007 statements for the accountant for the cleaners to be done with our final tax return (which I'd mentioned to her last week). She said okay. As usual, RK also tried to convince us to (this was all before the conversations with the broker Chris Kim on 7/8) to take whatever offer we get for the house immediately because the mortgage is a lot for her. We reiterated (like we normally do) that this is our parents' house and that we are okay with selling it but not for a bad offer. We also pointed out to her that before she kicked us out of the house, our lawyers had come up with a suggestion to make a bank account with money from all three of us to pay the mortgage together for x months, but that plan didn't happen since she kicked us out of the house. We pointed out that a higher offer is beneficial to all three of us. RK then suggested that Clara and I buy the house ourselves and then re-sell it because she doesn't want to pay the mortgage anymore. (Uh, okay. We'll buy our own parents' house.) I'm not sure if she was serious or not, but she did suggest it. We said no.
Clara had noticed that our father's Calloway golf clubs were missing from the garage. Clara asked RK where they were. RK had donated them to her church. Clara asked why she hadn't told us about this before RK donated them, and RK starts screaming (yes, screaming) at us immediately. She said she has no obligation to tell us these things and that they went to a good cause. We explained to her that WE tell her EVERYTHING that happens and that we constantly ask that she do us the same courtesy. (It's not even courtesy, it's... being co-executors of an estate.) We also reminded her that our father was an avid (to say the least) golf player and that those clubs which he collected throughout the years had a lot of sentimental value to him and therefore to us. (Clara was pretty upset.) We asked that she please tell us before she gets rid of our parents' things. She countered that everything in the house belongs to her. (I think she began screaming because she realized that it was a pretty shitty move and she was probably embarrassed or something. But then again, it's pretty hard to try to reason why she does anything, so maybe that wasn't the case.) We were speaking in calm (but bewildered) tones, so her screaming made her sound even more ridiculous.
We asked her (which we had done in the past) to please tell us before she gets rid of these things. She said to take everything right now that we wanted. We pointed out that it's a bit ridiculous to take EVERYTHING (grand piano, fancy china) because she uses some of the stuff too. We said that it's fine if she uses it, but please do not give it away before letting us know, especially since our mother bought a lot of that stuff since she designed and furnished the house herself. RK said to just take it now because she might rent the house (uh... right) and that she would have to get rid of a lot of stuff. We said that even if she knew she was renting it the next day, she could always call us THAT day she finds out, and we will get it immediately. She said okay but still looked mad that we asked her a logical question of why she'd get rid of something so sentimental. :-P
Note: RK did not know until yesterday that Clara and I no longer live together. When we asked her to call us back when we call her, she said there was no need to talk to both of us since we are always together. We said that no, we are not since we do not live together. She was surprised.
JULY 3rd @ 10 am
We arrived at the house around 10 am to get the tools and to inform RK what we were doing. Clara updated her on some more stuff about people clearing out the junk in the store. RK asked whether we were done telling her stuff because she had to go somewhere. (Note: she was wearing a tank top and shorts [sleepwear?], no makeup, no bra. She didn't really look like she was going anywhere.)
Once we started the weeding at the store, we realized that it was going to be a much bigger project than we thought once we actually started. We called RK on her cell phone to ask what she was doing this weekend because we needed her help too if possible. RK said she had visitors coming for the weekend (which Clara said RK had mentioned to her before). Clara then asked what RK was doing on Monday morning. "Nothing, why?" Clara mentioned that we needed some help weeding the area around the store since it was a bigger job than we'd thought; could she please meet us there at 10 am on Monday morning? "Oh, I have a doctor's appointment at 10 am." (I guess she just forgot to mention that to us 30 seconds prior.)
NOTE: the weeds are a BUILDING issue, so really, RK should have been in charge of that, but waiting for her to do something is like waiting for a rock to hula.
JULY 7th @ 5 pm
After weeding the bulk and pouring Round-Up (weed killer) around the roots, Clara and I stopped by the house. While we were at the store, Kike (the deli owner) had gone to the post office to pick up his mail, and for some reason, our State Farm insurance bill was in his pile even though almost everything gets forwarded to the house. This bill is paid twice a year, once in January and once in July, so this is the first bill to be paid since the fire. Since it is building insurance, RK should pay it. (Clara is pretty much paying for everything for the cleaners out of her pocket, so I really hope the insurance covers all that.)
NOTE: Kike was at the store that day because he was there to collect four-month-old soda and beer from the remains of the deli because he plans to re-sell the beverages. I wish I were lying.
RK was at home with her sister from Delaware. (We said hi, and she said hi back and left the kitchen where the three of us were talking. Clara and I have no issues with her.) Maybe she was there to give moral support to RK at her doctor's appointment that morning. Anyhow, we give RK the State Farm bill, and she didn't understand why we had to pay it since the fire happened already. (I wish I were lying.) We told her that that is a very important bill and that it needs to be paid. I also reminded her to talk to the bank to get May 2008 and November 2007 statements for the accountant for the cleaners to be done with our final tax return (which I'd mentioned to her last week). She said okay. As usual, RK also tried to convince us to (this was all before the conversations with the broker Chris Kim on 7/8) to take whatever offer we get for the house immediately because the mortgage is a lot for her. We reiterated (like we normally do) that this is our parents' house and that we are okay with selling it but not for a bad offer. We also pointed out to her that before she kicked us out of the house, our lawyers had come up with a suggestion to make a bank account with money from all three of us to pay the mortgage together for x months, but that plan didn't happen since she kicked us out of the house. We pointed out that a higher offer is beneficial to all three of us. RK then suggested that Clara and I buy the house ourselves and then re-sell it because she doesn't want to pay the mortgage anymore. (Uh, okay. We'll buy our own parents' house.) I'm not sure if she was serious or not, but she did suggest it. We said no.
Clara had noticed that our father's Calloway golf clubs were missing from the garage. Clara asked RK where they were. RK had donated them to her church. Clara asked why she hadn't told us about this before RK donated them, and RK starts screaming (yes, screaming) at us immediately. She said she has no obligation to tell us these things and that they went to a good cause. We explained to her that WE tell her EVERYTHING that happens and that we constantly ask that she do us the same courtesy. (It's not even courtesy, it's... being co-executors of an estate.) We also reminded her that our father was an avid (to say the least) golf player and that those clubs which he collected throughout the years had a lot of sentimental value to him and therefore to us. (Clara was pretty upset.) We asked that she please tell us before she gets rid of our parents' things. She countered that everything in the house belongs to her. (I think she began screaming because she realized that it was a pretty shitty move and she was probably embarrassed or something. But then again, it's pretty hard to try to reason why she does anything, so maybe that wasn't the case.) We were speaking in calm (but bewildered) tones, so her screaming made her sound even more ridiculous.
We asked her (which we had done in the past) to please tell us before she gets rid of these things. She said to take everything right now that we wanted. We pointed out that it's a bit ridiculous to take EVERYTHING (grand piano, fancy china) because she uses some of the stuff too. We said that it's fine if she uses it, but please do not give it away before letting us know, especially since our mother bought a lot of that stuff since she designed and furnished the house herself. RK said to just take it now because she might rent the house (uh... right) and that she would have to get rid of a lot of stuff. We said that even if she knew she was renting it the next day, she could always call us THAT day she finds out, and we will get it immediately. She said okay but still looked mad that we asked her a logical question of why she'd get rid of something so sentimental. :-P
Note: RK did not know until yesterday that Clara and I no longer live together. When we asked her to call us back when we call her, she said there was no need to talk to both of us since we are always together. We said that no, we are not since we do not live together. She was surprised.
Updates about the house
The real estate broker Chris Kim kept calling me today. He first called at 13:50 to tell me about an offer for $1.053 and was pressuring me to take it. He said that an appraiser would go to the house tomorrow (meaning Wednesday 7/9) to appraise it since the couple from Princeton (who made the bid) hadn't seen the house yet, but he wanted to close the deal within three weeks (when he said that these things normally take two months). He told me that he had just spoken with RK on the phone and was now contacting me since he couldn't reach Clara. (He literally called me while I was on the phone with her and she was frantically telling me how her cell phone battery was running out.) I told him that I needed to speak with my sister. Chris gave me his cell phone number, told me to call ANYTIME, and asked to please call him back right away.
My lawyer CYJ called me at 15:35 today. He had just gotten off the phone with Chris. I told him that Clara and I would call him back after we discussed all that.
I notice that there was a missed call on my phone while I away from my desk. Chris had called at 15:19 while I was out, so I listened to his message. He'd asked on the voicemail whether I'd spoken with my sister yet and that he'd spoken with CYJ. I called him back and he said that the buyer wants to wrap this up by next Friday ("in two weeks"). I asked him, didn't he say THREE weeks when I spoke to him earlier? He said no (but he definitely did). He gave me a bunch of "facts" like how it's a bad real estate market, that we should just take this offer, that we're wasting time and money by not taking the offer, etc. I said that my sister and I think that $1.053 is too low.
Chris called again at 16:15. I spoke with him for ten minutes on the phone. Basically it was a lot of back-and-forth, me saying that we weren't interested in such a low offer, him saying that we should definitely take it. At one point, he said that nobody wants to pay so much money for the house, which is why they lowered the asking price twice.
NOTE: WE WERE NEVER MADE AWARE OF THESE PRICE DECREASES.
I asked him to clarify about these price decreases, and he said that the asking price went down from $1.29 to $1.19 and $1.1 (the current price) two-and-a-half months ago and two months ago, respectively. I told him that I was hearing this information for the first time and that he could not possibly expect that I make a decision about this during the same phone call when I found out that the asking price went down twice (two months ago!). He kept asking what my counter-offer was, and I said that since the listing price has changed, I needed to speak to my sister. He told me about his successful background in real estate, but I explained that this was my parents' house that they had built, and we were not going to go for a crappy offer.
We ended the conversation with me saying that I'd consult some people first and then get back to him. He was very pushy.
He later called me again sometime while I was eating dinner (probably around 19:00). He left a message saying that the buyers were not increasing their bid but that he and their agent would take a lesser commission so that we would have $10,000 more. He asked that we call him back. (I'd listened to this message later.) He also called me again at 19:54 but did not leave a message.
After speaking with some relatives and my sister, I left him a voicemail at 22:30 to tell him that we'd speak again tomorrow. (I just wanted to touch base before the end of the day.) He has not called me back yet (but I'm guessing we'll talk tomorrow).
My lawyer CYJ called me at 15:35 today. He had just gotten off the phone with Chris. I told him that Clara and I would call him back after we discussed all that.
I notice that there was a missed call on my phone while I away from my desk. Chris had called at 15:19 while I was out, so I listened to his message. He'd asked on the voicemail whether I'd spoken with my sister yet and that he'd spoken with CYJ. I called him back and he said that the buyer wants to wrap this up by next Friday ("in two weeks"). I asked him, didn't he say THREE weeks when I spoke to him earlier? He said no (but he definitely did). He gave me a bunch of "facts" like how it's a bad real estate market, that we should just take this offer, that we're wasting time and money by not taking the offer, etc. I said that my sister and I think that $1.053 is too low.
Chris called again at 16:15. I spoke with him for ten minutes on the phone. Basically it was a lot of back-and-forth, me saying that we weren't interested in such a low offer, him saying that we should definitely take it. At one point, he said that nobody wants to pay so much money for the house, which is why they lowered the asking price twice.
NOTE: WE WERE NEVER MADE AWARE OF THESE PRICE DECREASES.
I asked him to clarify about these price decreases, and he said that the asking price went down from $1.29 to $1.19 and $1.1 (the current price) two-and-a-half months ago and two months ago, respectively. I told him that I was hearing this information for the first time and that he could not possibly expect that I make a decision about this during the same phone call when I found out that the asking price went down twice (two months ago!). He kept asking what my counter-offer was, and I said that since the listing price has changed, I needed to speak to my sister. He told me about his successful background in real estate, but I explained that this was my parents' house that they had built, and we were not going to go for a crappy offer.
We ended the conversation with me saying that I'd consult some people first and then get back to him. He was very pushy.
He later called me again sometime while I was eating dinner (probably around 19:00). He left a message saying that the buyers were not increasing their bid but that he and their agent would take a lesser commission so that we would have $10,000 more. He asked that we call him back. (I'd listened to this message later.) He also called me again at 19:54 but did not leave a message.
After speaking with some relatives and my sister, I left him a voicemail at 22:30 to tell him that we'd speak again tomorrow. (I just wanted to touch base before the end of the day.) He has not called me back yet (but I'm guessing we'll talk tomorrow).
Monday, June 23, 2008
Random updates
This past Friday (6/20), our manager called me around 10 am to ask me whether I was aware that She was at the store with some Korean guys, taking stuff out of the store. Well, I was not aware, so I called Her back shortly after I spoke with him, but of course She did not pick up Her cell phone nor did She return any of my messages. :-P Later I spoke with Clara and found out that She did indeed leave a voicemail saying that She was going to clear some stuff out. Thank goodness.
I spoke with Clara again today. Apparently, the people who were interested in buying our house is no longer interested. When Clara asked Her what was happening with the sale, She shrugged and said, "I don't know" as if She wasn't supposed to know. Clara tried to convey to Her that She was the one who was pushing to sell the house and that She needs to be on top of these things. Apparently, She just assumed that since She hadn't heard anything from Her broker, the sale was off. (I mean, that is probably true, but wouldn't a normal person check?) Then She got mad at Clara because She blamed us that we took too long to decide whether we should even sell the house, so She is losing money.
1. We agreed to sell the house when the buyers were still interested. SHE didn't keep on top of things. Not our fault.
2. SHE kicked us out of the house. (Well... kicked us out or demanded that we pay $3,000+ in rent.)
Ridiculous. Anyway, not too informative, but that is the latest update.
Moral of the story: Clara is a hard-working saint. SHE is still an idiot.
I spoke with Clara again today. Apparently, the people who were interested in buying our house is no longer interested. When Clara asked Her what was happening with the sale, She shrugged and said, "I don't know" as if She wasn't supposed to know. Clara tried to convey to Her that She was the one who was pushing to sell the house and that She needs to be on top of these things. Apparently, She just assumed that since She hadn't heard anything from Her broker, the sale was off. (I mean, that is probably true, but wouldn't a normal person check?) Then She got mad at Clara because She blamed us that we took too long to decide whether we should even sell the house, so She is losing money.
1. We agreed to sell the house when the buyers were still interested. SHE didn't keep on top of things. Not our fault.
2. SHE kicked us out of the house. (Well... kicked us out or demanded that we pay $3,000+ in rent.)
Ridiculous. Anyway, not too informative, but that is the latest update.
Moral of the story: Clara is a hard-working saint. SHE is still an idiot.
Monday, June 16, 2008
Note to self...
I haven't updated much, but just reminding myself that our manager called Clara yesterday to tell us that Rosa was at the store with some Korean guys (contractors?). She did not inform us of this and still hasn't answered Clara's voicemails. So yeah, that was 6/14. (Who knows when else she is there when our manager doesn't notice?)
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